DECORATING WITH DOGS

If your planning on making some changes to your home's decor this year, take a few tips from our dog lovers.

1. Bare floors without carpet or throw rugs can give a nice open feeling to a room. It can provide a soothing balance when you have many art objects that reflect your love of animals.

2. Paw prints and nose smudges on glass doors and windows break up glare and soften the light in a room.

3. Dog crates, when stacked three high, can add height to a room and pull the eye up. If fastened securely to the wall, the top can provide a safe and dramatic place for exotic plants or statuary that otherwise might be molested by your pets. An up light can make it a real focal point! Cats love to inhabit the upper crates leaving the lower ones for the dogs.

4. Old towels and blankets thrown casually on upholstered furniture can add a wonderful homey, country-quilt look to an otherwise bland room.

5. Common smooth upholstery fabrics can look almost velvety when lightly textured with pet hair.

6. Vari-kennels, placed end to end and topped with plate glass can create an unusual coffee table, one your friends will really remember.

7. Doggie beds, randomly placed around a room can add color and texture, much as throw pillows do.

8. Shredded or chewed books and magazines send a message to guests that they are free to relax and feel at home.

9. Dog crates can make versatile end tables and can be slip covered to match any room decor!

10. There is absolutely nothing that makes a guest feel as welcome as three friendly dogs hopping in his lap as soon as he sits down.

Dogs Rule!

This ad was reportedly seen listed in the Atlanta Journal:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I am a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

Call (404) 875-5555 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador Retriever.

(Men are so easy).

FAMOUS DOG QUOTES

· "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." Unknown.

· "Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." Unknown.

· "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." Gene Hill.

· "In dog years, I'm dead." Unknown.

· "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of
dogs." Aldous Huxley.

· "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn around three times
before lying down." Robert Benchley.

· "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that's how dogs spend their lives." Sue Murphy.

· "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts
to bite people themselves." August Strindberg.

· "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from
a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, port, half a cow. They
must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" Anne Tyler.

· "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult." Rita Rudner.

· "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will get to heaven and very, very few people will." James Thurber.

· "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with
pets." Nora Ephron.

· "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great
Dane." Smiley Blanton.

· "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful." Ann Landers.

· "Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein.

· "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should
have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." Dereke
Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan.

· "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." Ben Williams.

· "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his
tail." Unknown.

· "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." Andrew A.
Rooney.

· "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself." Josh Billings.

· "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can.
That's almost $7.00 in dog money." Joe Weinstein.

· "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." Mark Twain

Subject: Fwd: Dog's Reminder to Self......

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa, or under the bed.

4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

7. I will not throw up in the car.

8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I  like the way they smell.

9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.

10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it is raining outside.

15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with them.

17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom and dad's laps.

18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and registration.

20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage and walk around with a string hanging out of my butt.

22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after just getting a bath.

23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable  way of saying hello.

24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.

25. I will not fart in my owner's face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.

26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply, and just because the water is blue, doesn't mean it is cleaner.

28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.

30. The cat is not a squeaky toy, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

*The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous

  *Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers

*If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers

  *There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams

*A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings

  *The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andrew A. Rooney

*We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all.

  * It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Facklam

*Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. -Sigmund Freud

  *If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. -James Thurber

*I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. -Penny Ward Moser

  *A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -Robert Benchly

*"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -Rita Rudner

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. -Dave Barry

 *"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never has washed a puppy." *My dog is worried about the economy, Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. - Joe Weinstein

  *Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx

  *Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler

  *Women and cats will do as they please, men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein

*Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative. -Mordecai Seg

How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb...

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Cattle Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: "How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"


ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN,
THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

Did you Smile this Morning?

My Dog's Home

I love my dogs
This is their home
From which I hope
They'll never roam.
They're faithful friends
I love them best
This is their house
You are a guest.
If dogs to you
Are just a peeve
Then by all means
Feel free to leave!